I didn’t find a specific topic for this, so let’s test the waters. I don’t know if this goes too much into privacy, but situations are sometimes easier to discuss anonymously.
Have you been in a relationship that led to a breakup? Or have you already reached family life and and had offspring, but still, a breakup occurred? How did you cope with it and how did it affect your spending and investing? Did you lose your house and have to sell all your assets?
Personally, I am currently going through this situation, and the intention is to stay living alone in a detached house. Fortunately, there were no offspring yet. Financially, it looks really weak right now, and especially since stocks are in the red due to the poor performance of the Helsinki stock market, some sensible solution should be found.
This delves strongly into my private life, but I’ll answer something anyway.
(Someone who knows me in real life will surely recognize me from this)
I have experienced two divorces in my life, the first in 2001 and the latter in 2020.
One child from the first marriage, no children in the latter.
At the beginning of the latter marriage, we jointly acquired a detached house, which was almost paid off before I became aware of the intention to divorce.
A mitigating factor in the divorce was that there were no children, but I was more than worried about the financial side and repeatedly had nightmares related to the topic.
As soon as I became aware of the situation, I had already decided that I would keep the house no matter what. (I’d even eat pine cones)
I applied for a new (low six-figure) mortgage from the bank with a long repayment period, with which I paid off the remaining debt and bought my ex out of the house.
Before 2020, I hadn’t invested anything, and strangely, after the divorce, I started having extra money in a completely different way than before. That’s when the decision to invest was made.
I have a decent income, and my ex was in a so-called low-wage sector, so during our cohabitation (approx. 18 years), grocery bills and largely other bills came from my salary.
Now that I’ve mostly lived alone, apart from a few temporary girlfriends, there’s money left to put into investments as well.
And has it been worth it? Well, no.
The portfolio is deeply in the red, and I would have gladly kept my wife too!
Giving up the detached house would ease the financial situation, but it seems you are not very keen on that option. However, the matter should be carefully considered. In a difficult situation, it would be one less worry. Financial distress can be very mentally draining, and the end result could be a forced sale of the house if problems escalate.
It is not intended to advise anyone, but these are my own observations, which have arisen from a bank’s perspective.
There’s no need to worry about that portfolio and its loss. The fact is that most of the things that are valuable in life cannot be bought with money. Life has taught that unexpected things always come along that bring joy to life. Often these are things not related to money, at least not directly.
Of course not. All the money I’ve invested is so-called extra savings; it’s not taken from anywhere essential. If I hadn’t started my investing career, I would have squandered the same money somewhere else, and there would be nothing left of it.
I travel quite a lot, so if I hadn’t gotten interested in investing, I might be taking six trips abroad a year instead of three. In that case, I would have gained more experiences, but I probably wouldn’t have any savings.
#Arto2
If the financial situation looks really bad, I recommend selling the house. For me, the total expenses decreased so much that I was able to keep the house myself. Additionally, I took out a new loan with a 25-year repayment period; I don’t know if that’s still possible.
All in all, if the calculations show that you can keep the house yourself, I strongly recommend it! I, for one, don’t want to pay rent for living. Paying for “your own” in the form of a loan is always cheaper.
I’m 34 years old and went through a divorce 3 years ago. I have 2 children of my own (8 and 6 years old) and a stepchild (14 years old) from my ex-wife’s previous relationship. I wanted to stay living in my own house with my own children, which is a semi-detached house, so that their daily lives wouldn’t have to change, even though there was a big upheaval in life otherwise. I live in the countryside, so I had the opportunity to stay living here with a small financial assistance from my parents, and I’m a practical nurse by profession, so there’s enough work as long as I can do it. I had gotten an influential day job a month before I heard the news of the divorce. I’ve been living by myself.
I didn’t have any previous investments, and once I had gotten over the worst of it, I made an investment decision quite impulsively after talking about the topic with my older brother. At that time, I was lucky because after a good summer, I invested the money earned from overtime into three companies my brother mentioned, which I have, of course, later researched and are still in my portfolio with a profit. The divorce greatly affected my spending, as I partly worked a lot to have something else to think about and, of course, to make sure the money covered expenses. I’ve never been one for material possessions, but I haven’t had too much of it either. Now I’m building up a larger portfolio so I can offer my children nice experiences while they’re young and help them financially when they leave and hopefully study.
I got divorced from my wife. It happened amicably. I need to contact a lawyer about the division of marital assets, but one question arose beforehand. I have more shares than my wife has assets. My wife will therefore receive an equalization payment from me. But how does that happen in practice? Can the bank transfer shares from my book-entry account to my wife’s account, if agreed upon in the division of assets?
Here’s an article related to the division of marital assets; best to check if it’s still up-to-date.
It sounds like the bank can transfer shares, and for the recipient party, the acquisition cost will be your original acquisition cost, including the possibility of a deemed acquisition cost. Presumably, capital gains tax applies upon sale.
Another way to balance could be to gift shares before the divorce so that the division of assets balances out. In this case, the recipient would be subject to gift tax, but if they hold the shares for a certain period – I recall one year – their acquisition cost would be the value according to the gift, i.e., by holding for a year, the wife would incur gift tax, which is lower than capital gains tax. If the above were true, one could save on taxes if there are those ten-baggers in the portfolio.
EDIT: What I actually meant is that if you amicably draw up a deed of division of assets with your wife, the stock portfolio, like the apartment, can be valued in other ways than exactly at the day’s price, allowing for a bit of maneuvering. Not legal advice. Just came to mind when I read the following
I was stressed by the financial blow when the divorce process began. But then I found out online that a deed of division (osituskirja) can be drawn up even before the divorce. It’s quite similar to drawing up a prenuptial agreement (avioehto) during the marriage. I was pleasantly surprised when I managed to negotiate a significantly better outcome than if an outsider had performed the division after the final divorce application was filed. But of course, there isn’t much room for maneuver if the main asset to be divided is a jointly paid-for apartment. Few people start gifting assets to the other.
Well then. The divorce matters are settled. I’ve been thinking that a new partner would be nice to have. So I put together a Tinder profile. I thought the magic words: Academic, financially stable, non-smoker, loves children are what would work and they are true. Still have my hair. 179 cm/ 83 kg. Healthy lifestyle. But. The most interesting women seem to be in the Helsinki metropolitan area. I myself am in Oulu. With a healthy self-esteem, I would estimate that I am quite youthful, but it’s hard to judge oneself. I’ve been sending messages and likes. I’m probably too optimistic and picky since Tinder isn’t exactly buzzing my way But it’s quite interesting to look around a bit…
I’ve been getting to know a woman who lives abroad. We’re planning to meet soon.
Money can’t buy love. But. It seems to affect residence permits. If one can show that they can support their partner, it can be a decisive factor in the permit process. Brutal.
…yeah. I’d even have the money to completely support some Slavic woman. But. I’ve tried to start an online romance with a few already. Maybe I have bad luck, but all of them have been scam profiles!!!
Some probably live off that activity. They are skilled! There have been very credible calls. And pictures have come from daily life, relatives, and home. Then the whole thing falls apart when a suggestion comes: send money or gift cards, one even tried to get me into crypto investments!
You really have to be careful. Sent links should not be clicked. Money should not be sent no matter what the reason!!
True. I’m in the social sector, so this isn’t about meeting women. Maybe the bar is just too high… But I guess it has to click properly to want to be together for longer.
Single men, go to a dance class! It’s social exercise, and during the evening, you’ll chat with dozens of women. And at least at bigger venues, people of all ages attend. Last time, my wife (whom I met at dances) and I went dancing at Auran nuortentalo (Aura Youth Centre) and were surprised by how many younger people were there. I recommend it!
Heh…a couple of colleagues recommended it and I went! And it was worth it, it’s good exercise and there are women there. The first dance was salsa, I almost got stage fright from it. I had slept a bit poorly the previous night. I was tinkering with a snowmobile for a couple of hours before the dance class. Then the salsas started…I managed to concentrate for maybe half an hour. Then my concentration wavered and I started thinking about engine overhauls. The salsas spread all over the floor. Next, luckily, was a slow waltz. I learned my lesson and did some practice on my own, then went to class feeling energetic. And lo and behold, it went much better then. I notice that my fitness is also improving each time. I sweat!! Yeah, there are nice women there. One of them, when she stared with her deer eyes during the dance, it almost made me swallow a bit, gulp : )
And if dancing doesn’t interest you (I personally don’t see any appeal or sense in it. It’s certainly good exercise etc., I don’t deny that.) then martial arts are a slightly different form of exercise where the gender distribution in many clubs is perhaps surprisingly 50/50 and the age distribution is also very wide. You shouldn’t go there just to find a partner, but if you’re otherwise interested in it, the aforementioned is a plus. I know several people who met there and even started families. Martial arts are often also very affordable hobbies. Equipment purchases remain very minimal, and the barrier to a new hobby is non-existent. As long as you drag yourself there.
So… I guess you could meet women anywhere. It’s a different matter how to get things going. A small problem is if you ask someone out for coffee, for example. And if the other person isn’t into that idea at all. Then isn’t it a bit awkward to go to the same karate or similar class? Sometimes I read my ex’s Cosmopolitan magazines out of sheer curiosity. One tip among women was to carry oranges in your arms, for example. Then when a suitable target is nearby, oops. The oranges scatter across the floor, and then you collect them together and laugh, exchange numbers, and get married. Soon there’s a Volvo in the yard, a golden retriever, and two kids… Easy peasy… As a frugal man, I’d then have those same fruits ready in my backpack for when the target glides by. The oranges might just start looking a bit worse for wear after I’d scattered them across the supermarket lobby for the fortieth time… And again, no one would react. I might also have a long-handled floor squeegee and a snow shovel with me, so it would be easier to collect them alone.
But it’s quite interesting to look around a bit…
It’s certainly good exercise etc., I don’t deny that.) then martial arts are a slightly different form of exercise where the gender distribution in many clubs is perhaps surprisingly 50/50 and the age distribution is also very wide. You shouldn’t go there just to find a partner, but if you’re otherwise interested in it, the aforementioned is a plus. I know several people who met there and even started families. Martial arts are often also very affordable hobbies. Equipment purchases remain very minimal, and the barrier to a new hobby is non-existent. As long as you drag yourself there.